So after driving what seemed like a million miles, all be it through beautiful countryside, we arrived at Onecote. Still don't know if it's One Coat, On Coat, One Cut, On Cut or just Yokelville, but we eventually got there to find we were playing a beer festival outside under a tarpaulin, but hey the weather was unseasonally warm and we had the use of two patio heaters, so things looked good.

We set up and sound checked to Stand By Me, everything sounded groovy and it made a change Paul singing it and me playing lead guitar. We went on around 9 just as it was starting to get dark. It may sometimes be cold, there's always a chance it may rain and ruin everything, but it is always nice to play outside. The sound tends to be good and it's ... well kinda nice. We did an okay first set that seemed to go down pretty well, then went off for a break. 

Before we had gone on a guy had asked us if his mate could do a turn in the break... no problem we said, that was the last I heard until just before we were about to go on for the second set. Suddenly there was a guy stood at the microphone with a ukelaly(well you try spell checking it) doing his George Formby impression. Well it would be very easy to take the piss out of him, but he came on with a few gags and his "uke" and for the first 5 minute he was very good, the crowd were laughing, people were shunning the warmth of the pub to come outside and see what was happening, and he was definitely going down better than us. He did another tune and then started with his period material. I don't mean jokes about Henry 8th, but jokes about tampons, sanitary towels and blood. I think maybe Onecote wasn't ready for this. He didn't die or anything but there seemed to be a bit of a shift and people started wandering off. Then he did another tune and another ( at least they were short) Fortunately he came off before everyone left and we went on for our second set. 

We had a bit of a blip where our Girls Aloud cover went down badly, but after that it was plain sailing with  every song (nearly) going down better than the last and even getting a proper encore!

Stu.

January 28th 2008 - The Sun, Chesterfield.

So only six months since we last wrote a blog - better get back into the habit.

So here we were back at the Sun after what seemed a very long time. The decor has changed a bit and there's a lot more room for the band, so that's good, but apart from that...... We set up the gear and had a sound check. Sometimes that seems to be the moment when the band sounds at it's best all night (Maybe that's because it's before everyone has turned themselves up a little bit - even Andy uses special quiet sticks on the sound check) and tonight was one of those nights. We jammed out one of Pauls antique songs  "Spider and the Fly" Andy didn't know it, Bunny didn't know it and Paul and I hadn't played it for about 20 years - it sounded great. We went and sat down and were joined by a woman doing work for the PRS (performing rights society) Oh No! did this mean we were going to have to pay a hefty fee because of all the covers we do, or did it mean were going to be paid a tiny fee for the originals that we do, no it meant we had to list all the songs we were going to do in the set and then try and remember who bloody wrote them.

So we went on for the first set, everything was pretty steady till we did the last song, a song by the aptly named Killers, we sodding murdered it. There were more notes in the wrong place than at a dyslexic Post-It convention. In the second set I took to the drums and Andy on the harmonica for the classic Hoochie Coochie Man. As I sat there trying to work out whether to stomp my foot, hit the hi-hat or bang the snare ( I'm not a drummer.... yet) I had a feeling something sounded a bit wrong, apart from my drumming. All the guys in front of me  seemed to be playing as normal, but no there was something wrong, four long minutes later we finally got to the end of what to me sounded too much like jazz, to find Andy had played the whole song with a harmonica in the wrong key At this point I should of course say "stick to the drums Andy" but the trouble being, I enjoy playing the drums and Andy's pretty damn good on that harmonica - as long as he picks the right one up!

Stu

New Years Eve 2007 - Eyre Arms , Calver.

See New Years Eve 2006, it was pretty much the same!

December 20th Ashgate Club, December 21st Jervis Arms, December 22nd Cross Daggers.

In 20 odd years of playing gigs in local bands I had never actually done three in a row, so this was a first.

Can't really remember the first one, but the second, The Jervis Arms, Onecote, The Middle of No Where - I remember that. We set off to try and find this place armed with a lovely map off Google and plenty of fuel, the map was shag all good but the fuel proved handy. We were on the country roads somewhere between Buxton and Ashbourne in thick fog crawling along at 15 mph. Eventually we saw some lights in the distance, it had to be it? nope a farm - we struggled on. More lights, were we there? nope a little village, but at least there was a sign - Onecote 8 miles. Great only 8 miles to go, maybe we'd spot Eminem on the way.  We finally arrived and where given the choice to either play in a little room inside or a marquee outside, it was 2 degrees out there - we chose inside. This did end up being quite a good gig, even though it was such a small room the equivalent of playing someone's lounge, there weren't many of them but the audience were up for it and the atmosphere was good.

So on to Tideswell. This one was different because we had a stand in bass player as Bunny couldn't make it. We'd played The Cross Daggers before with a stand in drummer, so here we were again with yet another line up. Matt - our stand in, is a really great guy and filled Bunny's shoes admirably. We had a nice steady gig but when we got to the end didn't get an encore, but as Matt had practiced She Sells Sanctuary, we went on and did a storming version of that anyway.

Stu.

June 9th 2007 - Calver Village Hall

Got to admit I wasn't looking forward to this one, a gig out in the sticks and they were charging £10 a ticket, yes TEN POUNDS. Was anyone going to come?? I certainly didn't think so. I'm originally from Calver but judging by the people who were there when we were setting up and the first stragglers to arrive, it had gotten a lot posher since I left.

In true village spirit we were about to go on when they decided to draw the raffle. This was performed by a guy from Radio Derby who was there covering the event - I think he'd done this kind of thing before "A weeks holiday in Malaga - I was there last year and it's really great.
A bottle of wine - mmmm Claret my favorite. A box of wine gums - mmm the Claret ones my favorite, A door stop - I've a pesky door at home that keeps closing, I'd love one of these". If he ever loses his job at Radio Derby perhaps he could get a job writing the descriptions for the Innovations catalogue.

Finally it was time to go on, the place had filled up a bit and it looked as if we might have a good night after all. We were introduced by the guy from Radio Derby. Earlier he'd asked Paul if he had any funny "Guilty Men" stories . Well he decided to recount these to the masses before we started, they were longer, different and totally unfunny - I hid behind the curtain!

We went on. Halfway through the first set everyone started dancing, I think they'd decided "It's cost me ten quid I'm going to bloody enjoy it" We stormed through the rest of the first set, had a break, then hit them with the second. The highlight of this set being when we did Mustang Sally. Often when we do this song we ask if there are a couple of sexy ladies in the audience who'd like to do the backing vocals, half the time you end up with a lot of ladies suddenly looking somewhere else, the other half some mingers get up and drunkenly sing. This time I could have bet my gig fee (big money) which two would join us - I didn't lose my bet. They were up for it, they danced and sang in key, but the highlight being when their husbands, partners, lovers, whatever, re-appeared and threw their underwear on stage at them, sometimes being on stage is a great place to watch other people enjoy themselves.

Stu.

Man with arrow through head  - Calver Village Hall

The Daggers -Tideswell 12th May

Can’t remember much about this one as it’s  all been not stop lately. Apart from some good friends being there to support us once again.

Started with my new favourite livener U2’s Vertigo don’t know how much the audience like it, but it certainly sets me off nicely.
Did quite a few of our own tonight including Stuart’s “ One from the heart” which I think was the first fine fully electric and it sounded pretty good.
Also Then there’s girls also by Stu was the only song where people actually danced tonight.
Encore.. Encore…
This guy at the back was shouting for Sweet Home Alabama so we said Ok… Then he said he was going to sing it and promptly got up on stage. These things always seem easy to suggest but unless you rehearse and as he told me later aren’t pretty drunk they can be a bit of a problem so I guess he got a bit lost. Pity really he was a nice bloke.
Only other memory of night was went to the next practice and my Strat and case reeked of fags. Hope there is someone there next time we play.

Paul

February 17th 2007 - The County, Chesterfield.

So here we were again at The County - but this time it was different, not only was it a charity gig but the Midnight Flyers, the band that Andy our drummer moonlights with, were doing a set as well. So nine o-clock came and the Midnight Flyers took to the stage in front of a pretty packed pub. It was nice to see them play as I'd met a couple of the band before but never seen them perform. their stuff was a lot mellower than ours but nicely done, I particularly liked the third track in, although it was begging for some flash guitar work - my amp and guitar were sat there - I had to hold myself back! 

We eventually squeezed our way onto stage a bit after 10, squeezed being the word as the beautiful Rhodes Piano from the Flyers keyboard player was still there, but it was also still plugged in so Pete - another mate, came up and did a couple of numbers with us. It was strange doing songs you'd done a hundred times suddenly with a piano on them, it totally altered the dynamics, now I know how the bands on Later feel when they have the pleasure??? of Jools Bleeding Holland playing with them.

The next song was one of my songs "Then there's Girls" so Pete left the stage because he didn't know it, he's good but he ain't psychic. It funny when you play one of your own songs, I always tend to watch the audience more closely to see if they are enjoying it and I reckon they were... Yeah! "Words fall like rain" one of Pauls classics went down pretty well as well.
We had a quick break to draw the raffle then rocked our way to the end where once again The County were treated to me taking to the drums and Andy playing his harmonica on the Dr Feelgood song 20 Yards Behind. The thing about the harmonica is that you wouldn't want to hear it all night, but get someone who can play ( and Andy certainly can),  stick it in one song and it's stunning. We finished the night being joined again by Pete on piano for a nice loud version of Honky Tonk Women, it was a great way to end a great night.

Stu.

New Years Eve 2006 - The Eyre Arms, Calver.

"What you doing there? Can I help you?" Trying to get to the drum stool
from behind the bar and fire escape thats what Maaaaaaaam! Probably the
smallest space known to house a drummer and drumset was the challenge
faced by the Guilty Men as they attempted to play music for the soap
opera that is the Eyre Arms (named after the furniture shop in
Chesterfield) on News Years Eve 2006. Soap Opera you ask? in that
Australian intonation that is so irritating. Well first of all there was
the extended family Harrison (named after the England fastbowler - dont
mention cricket to me...) including Amandas niece who insists
she is also the daughter of unmusical "but brainy" "Pete" Harrison (his
drumming either wasnt good enough or he was just too good at ending the
evening with the groupie? - you choose - either way he never made it
past the famous Decca audition - rumour has it he is making a comeback
tour of butlins camps as the "original" GMEN drummer). Also there was
Wendy "I wont stay- I wont drink - I am detoxing etc etc"  putting back
two bottles of wine and various cider and sodas before meeting up with
the mysterious "not mentally ill but interesting" producer with half
mast trousers from London who definitely turned right out of the car
park after failing to get the full on lip to lip action that was clearly
his intent from the moment he mentioned meeting Tom Waits to Wendy.
Wendy sent the PA van on a wild goose chase of Calver at 3am on News
Years day clutching a beer mat with her vital stats (01246xxxxx)
scrawled across it. Next morning PA man took Wendy back to Calver in a
forlorn hope of spotting him - one poor man was clearly perplexed at
being asked if he was Mr X  (for that was his name - he claimed -
honestly - to be a under cover reporter). Then of course there was the,
who can forget her (well I have) statuesque Viking underground
foxhunting practice monitor - "hello Practice Monitor" was the call that
resounded across the pub. Me? "Im just waiting patiently lying on the
floor Im just trying to do this jigsaw puzzle before it rains anymore"
well unplugging at midnight to trawl the womens toilets to find at least
one person willing to snog the bass player, only to be interrogated
about the extent of my adventures on the way through the bar to get
there (" did you kiss anyone on the lips before you got to me?). Still
it was heaven when I got there (last cubicle if you are looking) though
the bass strapped across my stomach and the thought of band waiting to
do the Paul version of auld engsign" (Robbie Shakespeare was turning in
his proverbial) was a fine prophylactic. Anyway usual apologies from
Brassic Dick, you always play the same stuff Princess and frog- how do
they know if they never come?, Dandy Nichols - had to get up to breast
feed nephew at 5am, and Dempsey and Makepiece "we live only 50 yards
from gig and it is the biggest ex pat Scot night of year but we stayed
in with our cocoa"  Happy New Year to anyone still readingxx
Bunny.

Thursday 21st December - The Grouse, Chatsworth Road, Chesterfield.

So we had a gig at The Grouse on Chatsworth Road, did we -apparently so. Andy had got us the gig on Sunday when he got talking to the Landlord in a different pub -
"I'm in a band"
"Oh, would you like a gig on Thursday"
"Yes, that would be swell"   - well something like that. If only we could get gigs that easy at every other pub.

So, there are a lot of pubs down Chatsworth Road, I've been in some, but definitely not all of them and The Grouse being one of the latter. And as always, if you tell someone you have a gig at a pub that you haven't been into, then ask them what it's like, the answer is "Woah, a bit rough in there, a right dive"

So I walked into The Grouse expecting the worse, to be greeted with low cozy lighting, fairy lights, friendly staff and a nice atmosphere.

We set up, sound checked, waited around a bit, then played our first set. Then we waited around a bit more, then played our second set.
There was a serious shortage of people there, so the night never really got going, but we seemed to go down okay.

We did have a couple of moments. One when one of Bunny's very expensive speakers fell off the chair it was balanced on and crashed to the floor, why did it fall off??  Because three middle aged men were jumping up and down on the wooden floor while playing their guitars. And the second when a young guy holding a pool cue came and stood in front of Bunny and kind of swayed a bit (He wasn't dancing - he was pissed) Now I think there was a pool table in the other end but I wasn't sure. We finished the song we were doing and he started asking us if we did any Oasis, Mmm it all kind of made sense then.

Stu

Friday 15th December - The County, Chesterfield

We really like playing The County, the landlord Damien and for that matter all of his staff are always welcoming and appreciative.

Being a Christmas gig in the middle of town our audience was constantly changing as they were doing lots of pubs with their mates. Some people who have supported us in the past and a lot of Bunny’s friends attended the gig which was nice but a bit weird when he proceeded to name check most of them including one who it turns out is a very good teacher!

Only really notable thing in the first set was when I broke a string in Alright Now and Stuart took over playing the rhythm part; I just had the guitar ready for the solo which seemed to impress people.

Second set was punctuated with a few friends from work who came down to check us out ( thanks Andy, Graham, Phil, Paul and the other guys).

Also thanks to the mystery man who bought all the band a drink.

Performed my Oh no it’s Christmas Time song which went down quite well and gave a few CD’s away of it.

Lastly War is over did not sound like on the 7th as the chorus vocals were spectacularly out of tune . Sorry folks and sorry John.

Nowhere near our best gig at the venue but as ever a pleasant night.

Paul

Thursday 7th December- Good partying Samaritans !

When asked to play a party for The Samaritans I was not sure how the night would go but in fact it went very well.

We were supported by an illusionist whom unfortunately I cannot remember his name… (RRRussell) He said I need my audience totally sober to perform my act which of course was handy.

Opening line was to be delivered by Bunny and it was “We are the Guilty Men and you are the Samaritans so how do you feel” , before we launched into I feel good. Unfortunately Bunny did not wait until Stuart had plugged in his guitar so the joke fell slightly flat as we could not actually do the song.

By the end of the first set there was already some dancing going on, which was encouraging.

The highlight of the second set was when I asked if anyone would like to do backing vocals for the party classic Mustang Sally; I think it was five people who joined us and this was a little stage. Our choir also stayed on for Happy Christmas (war is over) which sounded great to me.

All in all it was a good fun gig with a lot of enthusiasm from the audience which I would assume would not be generally be perceived be that “Rock”!

Paul

November 25th - Cross Daggers, Tideswell.

Ahh… Tideswell Daggers; always an enjoyable place to play because of all of the friends in the audience, it is the closest we play to a hometown gig…. Thanks Kev, Andrea, Hans, Shimmy, Shimmy’s sister and his wife who’s names I definitely should remember plus every one else who turned up for us (including people all the way from Holland and Wales etc…).

Gig a bit of a challenge as Andy (on drums) was unavoidably detained (if you know what I mean) and we had stand in drummer Jay from the drum shop on Chatsworth Road, Chesterfield, who in spite of only having two practices with us performed pretty well.

We started with “Whisky in the Jar” and it all sounded pretty good. After this our honorary lighting technician for the night Alex (too young to actually be in the pub) suggested we put on the lights for the dancers which of course we did not need until the very last song.

Other memorable moments included Girls Allowed “Love machine” which we are having fun doing at the moment going down like a very leaky ship full of very fat people.

Stuarts, “Mistress and wife” sounded pretty good too and went down a lot better than “Love Machine” ….maybe he writes better songs than them?

By the time we got to “Mustang Sally “ I was feeling confident as my voice was sounding pretty good, so I told the audience as such. Maybe I should take up trumpet…

Just before we started “I feel good” Jay expressed his doubts as to how well he knew the song and if I believed he was telepathic, it would have been ample proof he was.

Last two songs were notable “Louis Louis” and “Get it on” as they both sounded good inspite of the fact Jay had tried one once in the sound check and not rehearsed the other one at all.

Encore was “You really got me” which got a couple up dancing , including a guy looking into my eyes and mouthing the lyrics which was a pity as I have always made an effort to never have learned them and make most of them up myself!

All in all an enjoyable gig to play which my friend Kev tells me was well attended for a usual Saturday night gig.

Paul

P.S. Once again THANK YOU JAY you really helped us out….. On Sunday afternoon Andy rang to see how the band had got on ; I think he was checking if he still had a job, but as Jay is better looking and younger than us we want Andy back.

Friday September 15th. The County, Chesterfield.

Aah the County Hotel acoustic night, armed with a bunch of covers and four original songs... who cant write songs then eh?
Crowd were both warm and attentive tonight with both new and familiar faces among them.
This time we opened with "Honky tonk women",  which sounded OK as an opener for a band who were sat on stools... but the highlights for me had to be having a chance to perform some of our own stuff after such a long time.
 
Although the band had only had a limited number of run throughs the songs did not sound too bad. Stuart's "One from the heart" (one of his best songs), got a pretty good response as did my "When words fall like rain" which my friend Kate has wanted me to perform live again for ages and she missed it.
 
Bunny no stranger to the strange outburst performed two accapella versions of songs someone shouted out in the audience.....
 
Later I had a true rock and roll moment when I broke a string; this meant I could not play on Stuart's wonderful "Mistress and wife",  which as I expected went down very well (no I don't mean because I didn't play on it).
 
When the set finished Bunny promptly unplugged his bass and took it to the toilet (Now wash your neck?).
 
We got an encore which we eventually started in spite of the fact that some woman was insisting on talking to Andy whilst he was sat at his drum kit. Very strange.
Last song of the night saw Bunny singing Louie Louie.
Yep, a pretty good gig.
Paul

Saturday August 19th.  The Sun Inn, Chesterfield.

Arrived at the Sun Inn ready to pleasure Chesterfield once again. Got to admit it’s another one of those pubs that I wouldn’t have dreamt of going in if we hadn’t been playing there - but it just goes to show, because it’s a great little place, mainly because of the Landlord and Landlady, and their enthusiasm seems to rub off on everyone else.

We started off with the Ramones classic Blitkrieg Bop. Not the best start as I forgot which key the song was in, and Andy wasn’t too sure about how it started. We eventually managed to get it going and soldered on through our first set. In the break between sets several people told us that we had got better with every song, good job really, it would probably have been more of a challenge to get worse!

It is strange really how the audience reacts to how you play. We did the Bruce Springsteen song Philadelphia and in my opinion totally killed it, but what do you know, there in the audience was a women thanking us for doing her favourite song.
But it works both ways, when we did You Really Got Me, I did one of the best solo’s I’ve ever played, did anyone notice - probably not.

Stu

Saturday July 28th   Acoustic Set at The County, Chesterfield

Arrived at The County with my battered old acoustic guitar ready to do my first ever acoustic gig. I think Bunny had done this kind of thing before though. three stools were lined up on the stage area - the best one in his place. We had a quick sound check, everything seemed to sound okay. If I could just get the hang of sitting on that stool, I felt more like Des O’ Conner than Kurt Kurbain (you know when Nirvana did unplugged) and trying not to wave my dangling legs around like Pinochio was a bit of a problem.

There were a few people in the pub but the main contingent were the big group of  girls sat in the corner - some leaving do or something. To their credit, or maybe to our credit, most of them stayed all night and turned what would have been a quiet Friday night into a slightly less quiet Friday night. Before we went on a couple of them came up and asked if we could do “I Will Survive” Well we’re not really a Gloria Gaynor tribute band so the answer was “No, we don’t know it”
“What do you mean yo don’t know it? You know... Walk out the door, Walk out the door, Turn around now...”
Sometimes it’s hard to explain that just because you know a song it doesn’t mean you can play it!

We went on for the first set, this included quite a few new songs that we’d learnt last week. It seemed to go down okay and because we were pretty quiet it made a nice change to actually be able to hear yourself sing, whether this made a nice change for the audience was debatable.

In the break between sets the barman came up to us and asked if we could do any Oasis, well we’re not an Oasis tribute band but we reckoned it would be piss easy to learn one of their songs in the break - it was, you just take a Beatles song and mix up the chords a bit. In the second set we did Don’t Look Back in Anger and the landlord sang it, he was in tune and in time - respect!

The highlight of the night for me was when we did a blues song and Andy played harmonica. even though I’ve known Andy a good while and knew he played harmonica, I’d never heard him play - well he’s shit hot. And watching the face of some guy in the audience when Bunny told Andy to “take another verse” I wasn’t the only person thinking that.

Stu